In the aftermath of last year's hurricane devestation on the eastern seaboard, there was some talk of the storms being God's retribution for the rampant debauchery that lends New Orleans its fame. Of course, there was no explanation for why poor, humble Mississippi was Godsmacked, but perhaps it was just collateral damage? The question now is, what has Iowa done to anger God?
The Midwest has been pummeled by tornados over the last few weeks. Just last night saw tornados tearing up turf and town in Iowa, including heavy damage to the University of Iowa and St. Patrick's Catholic Church in downtown Iowa City. But why? There are no Mardis Gras celebrations or 24-hour chicken and beer shacks in Des Moines. The fine citizens of Ames do not barter beads for breasts. There isn't even any good music in Iowa!
But Iowa does have corn, lots and lots of corn.
Does God hate corn? Maybe. Recent studies have shown 92% of heavy drug users have at some point in their lives also eaten corn. Is corn a gateway to heavy drug use? Worse still, nearly 100% of known homosexuals also eat corn on a regular basis. Does corn have a gay agenda? Michael Moore has been photographed eating corn more than a dozen times. And we all know God hates Michael Moore.
Or is it because John McCain was JUST there to court the Christian Right. Maybe God hates John McCain—or the Christian Right!!!!
Just the same, I am urging all Americans to stop eating corn now. Or at least don't be seen eating corn. For the love of God and Country, put the corn down!