If you have yet to be tazed by an officer of the law - or even a fellow citizen, in states that allow "regular" folks to own and use tasers - or haven't yet tazed a fellow American, don't worry. It's not too late to be part of the taser generation.
A number of enterprising individuals are selling "Don't Taze Me, Bro!" merchandise over at CafePress, and you can show your support for individual tasing events - or heck, tasers in general - by picking up some taze-ified t-shirts or mugs. The messenger bag pictured here is my personal favorite. Its understated use of those public service message stick figures is suitably ironic and a bit hilarious.
All of this gives me an opportunity to ask you to support my non profit organization called "No child left without a taser." Perhaps more important than education is ensuring that children are appropriately armed in today's dangerous world. As a deterrent, of course - I call it mutually assured tasering. Would your child mess with another on the playground if he thought that, perhaps, his adversary might have a taser sitting in his Spiderman lunchbox, waiting to be unleashed? What if a terrorist wanders into a classroom? 30 young boys and girls respond, en masse, with a withering round of tasering. The President would be proud!
I'm still working on setting up some sort of donation mechanism, so stay tuned. All proceeds would go to improved education on the value and availability of tasers, and funding taser distribution at playgrounds around the country.
PS - Do you think tasering enemy combatants, repeatedly, would be considered a violation of the Geneva Conventions? Or just another tool in the arsenal of democracy?